


Fifty Reasons

by Adi_mou



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-20 10:44:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1507631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adi_mou/pseuds/Adi_mou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Molly finds Fifty Reasons to Have Sex. So does Sherlock. Things don't go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fifty Reasons

**Author's Note:**

> There’s something you guys should know about me, if we are to continue this relationship. I’m crazy and I procrastinate. I could be doing my actual prompt for the ‘Fifty Reasons to Have Sex’ challenge, but I do this instead. Because of reasons. ‘I don’t wanna look at my textbooks anymore’ reasons.

  _“Fifty reasons to have sex?”_ Molly said disbelievingly, putting her glass down before she spilled her champagne. She did not turn bright red though, and Mary was almost disappointed. She had expected the pathologist to sputter and blush, but this was surprise. Though, a nice one. “What sort of fresh hell is this-?”

“Keep your voice down, woman,” Mary said, eyeing the staircase and hoping that the baby did not decide to wake up again. It was nice to meet up with Molly Hooper sometimes, get to know her without Sherlock or John puttering around somewhere in the scene, but she had a baby in the house now and every moment of quiet was treasured.

“Sorry,” Molly said, lowering her voice a bit. “But really, what’s ‘ _fifty reasons to have sex’_? If it’s like that badly written book you gave me-,”

“No no,” Mary waved her hand to placate her. “Remember that fight John and I had? For reasons I can’t tell you…?”

“Around the time Sherlock got shot?” Mary winced but nodded.

“Well, we made up. With Fifty Reasons.” Mary continued. “It’s based on that stupid American sitcom I used to watch before they botched up the finale.”

“Is it basically having a lot of sex but giving reasons for it?”  Molly said. “Because I’d really rather not listen to the amount of times you had sex with John Watson, thank you very much.”

“Ugh, Molly,” Mary replied just as the baby monitor started emitting wails. “Just…just Google it. You’ll like it, I promise.”

* * *

 

Molly did Google it later, on a slow day at the morgue with Sherlock in the background muttering about bees and slathering honey over a corpse (Molly had learned not to question anything, really).

It was rather _intriguing._

She bookmarked the page for later use and went to help the detective who was currently sticking his fingers inside a thirty year old dead man’s mouth.

* * *

 

When she walked into Baker Street a few days later, Molly was almost certain something had happened to Sherlock.

The flat was covered with candles, and all other lights were out.

“Ah, Miss Hooper, so nice of you to finally join us.” Sherlock said, getting up from the sofa and walking to her.

Molly stared.

Not a lot of things could stun Molly Hooper; contrary to popular belief. There were possibly on three occasions where she had been so stunned that she could not speak, but she had to admit, Sherlock Holmes in glasses and tweed would take the cake.

“ _Sherlock-?”_ she sputtered. “W-what in the-?”

“Miss Hooper, I don’t think that is the correct way to address me, do you?” Sherlock replied in the manner of the chemistry teacher she had when she was giving her O-levels. He took her bag from her slack fingers and quickly tossed it out of sight. “Maybe I should punish you. Teach you proper respect.”

He slid his arms around her, cupped her bum and gave it a vicious squeeze. Molly yelped and arched into his chest; Sherlock took the advantage of her proximity and momentary lapse of concentration to trail biting kisses down her neck and across her collarbone. “You’ve been a very _naughty_ girl, haven’t you, Miss Hooper?”

“Okay, okay, wait, Sherlock!” Molly pushed him away, ignoring the indignant look on his face. “Time out! What the fuck are you doing?”

Sherlock rolled his eyes and took off the glasses he was wearing with a flourish. “I looked at your computer at work.”

“It’s password—I don’t know why I bother. _Why_ did you look at my computer?”

Sherlock scowled at her. It was a drastic change to the cringingly trying-to-be-seductive Sherlock from moments ago. “I was bored. I saw the page you had bookmarked--,”

Something clicked in Molly’s mind. “You saw the Fifty Reasons thing, didn’t you?” This was said around a guffaw that was building somewhere in her chest, and she could tell Sherlock knew.

“Well, it was mildly intriguing to say the least. I was--,” He snapped defensively.

“I don’t think pretending to be a pervert teacher was anywhere near the list, though.” Molly bit back a smile. 

“Only a fool follows rules to the letter, Molly.”

“ _Oooooh,_ I’m sorry, Mister Sherlock,” Molly moaned dramatically. She was full on giggling now.  “Please, sir, I would love some _extra credit.”_

She plastered herself against his front, arms going around his thin waist. She rose on her toes and kissed his pouting mouth. “Sir, I’ve been so naughty—maybe you could _spank me.”_

“Molly, you would make a terrible seductress.”

“Really, Professor? Is that your final marking?” Molly said, and then burst into giggles. A chuckle even escaped Sherlock.

“Yes, I’m afraid so, darling.”

“Oh dear, then whatever am I going to do with the new knickers I bought.” Molly replied mockingly. “You know, the set I’m c _urrently_ wearing.”

“Really?” Sherlock said, sounding more like the Sherlock she knew and less like the awkwardly scripted version from moments before. “Maybe I could find some use for it. It would look lovely on my floor.”

“I’ll let you see it,” Molly laughed, walking towards the bedroom. “Only if you stop wearing that awful tweed.”

Sherlock flung it to the floor just as Molly’s hands reached the hem of her jumper.

**Author's Note:**

> This just happened. I’m sorry. Okay not really. I wanted to write humour (this is the joke because obviously I suck.). Anyways, leave a comment or a kudos (or both. Both is good.). I don’t think my brain is capable of working for April-May-June, because hello exam season. But I promise to get back to my moderately good fics later.  
> Go read works by Lono if you want actual humour. (Shamelessly plugging her because she is perfect.)  
> Love you all and see you in June,  
> Adi xx


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